I live next door to a bar. It has it’s issues.
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I happened to be awake because I was watching The Wolf of Wall Street ( which turns out is the longest movie ever demonstrating why drugs are bad.)  My husband saw someone running down the driveway ,past the window,into the backyard. He peeked out the backdoor to find this sloppily drunk man trying to keep himself from falling down the 40 ft drop at the edge of the garden while pissing. My husband used what we refer to with affectionate annoyance as his “Sergeant Voice” to tell this guy to GTFO.

The drunk guy mumbles,”Sorry,sir. I come here all the time to piss!”

Nice. So those mornings I woke to find plants trampled…probably not furry animals doing that.

I’m not totally opposed to using pee in the garden but I would like to have control over where it’s being used and who is contributing. Obviously, the number 1 issue is keeping the plants from being trashed because someone stumbled over them. That and the fact that having intoxicated strangers wandering around my house in the wee hours is pretty unsettling.

So, what’s my solution here? I can’t put a fence or barrier across the driveway that would block people from entering entirely. There used to be a cute picket fence and garden gate at the entrance to the backyard but an ex-neighbor drove into it with his motorcycle and the whole thing had to be taken down. I can’t really afford to put a new one up (and no, the landlord wouldn’t pay for it,either).

Things we already have that SHOULD be a deterrent but obviously aren’t working:

1. Police station right across the street

2. Bright street lamps that illuminate half of the driveway

3. Neighboring building has a light on a motion sensor that lights up the other half of the driveway…. but it doesn’t always work and they don’t always have it on.


Someone suggested I make a cutesy sign to put at the entrance but I doubt anyone would read or respect it. And anyway, what does one put on a sign like that?  “Please Piss Elsewhere”. “This is a garden, not a bathroom”.

I guess I don’t really feel that it’s the bar owner’s responsibility to keep track of where their patrons piss when they leave the bar. I keep meaning to tell them about this,though:


That’s one of the bar’s beer glasses outside my baby’s bedroom window (Yes, he’s almost 4 but he’s still my baby). Someone threw it at the house from the sidewalk. Came pretty close to hitting the window. Yikes,right?

OK, obviously the best solution here is to MOVE. Soon,soon. But for now, there has to be a way to deal with this,right? Are there any urban gardeners out there who have dealt with this sort of thing? Because I would love input. 

In other garden news, I bought $6 worth of herb seeds. I think I mentioned last garden entry that someone stole my whole container of chamomile ,so I had to buy some to replace that plus some other herbals.
This brings my garden cost total to $21