A friend challenged me to do that Blog 365 thing (basically have a blog post every single day). I was doing good for a few days there but then I started feeling so frickin’ depressed and thought no one wants to read this crap , even though I know that may even be the entire point – to put it ALL out there- and slacked off.
Yesterday was such a bad day. I felt so overwhelmed and had that gasping for air, drowning feeling that comes with not having money to pay the bills. Rent isn’t paid yet and our electric was nearly shut off yesterday. I managed to pay $190 to keep it on but we’ll have a monthly payment plan for the balance on top of our regular bill. Still no washer and the laundromat is cutting into my grocery money.
I was completely prepared to have another day of feeling shitty about myself and everything but then my 11 year old randomly said this morning before going to school,”You’re really good at the mom thing.”
And now I’m good. THINGS are still shitty but I know I’m not and my life isn’t and that’s what I’m carrying with me today to get me through.