Heaven knows I’m miserable now

Today’s post is made possible by inadvertently iced coffee, a nice down comforter my neighbor left on my doorstep a few weeks ago, and cats playing fetch with Nerf darts.

I’m so miserable right now that I’m basically a Morrisey song personified. I feel that whiny anyway.

It’s so cold and I can’t get the temperature inside to a decent place. I’m sitting by the woodstove and I can feel a draft coming from somewhere that feels like an actual breeze coming through the house. And not a warm one.

I’m having a very hard time being polite and courteous to the property manager when they’re asking about the rent. I’m so cold and we frequently don’t have running water so it’s harder than usual for me to stomach taking part in the tenant to owner wealth transfer process.

To date: November & December rent owed.

I’m also sooooo tired. I have to get up every 2 hours to feed the woodstove whenever the temp drops into the teens and lower. The other night I slept through one alarm (or more like I must have shut it off and didn’t get up, I guess) and the indoor temp when I woke up was 48°.

I can’t see renewing the lease here because they keep raising the rent and it’s indecent to pay $1150/month to live like it’s 1820.
But then I know to not live like it’s 1820, I’m going to have to pay more anyway.

And now I’m done writing this because my fingers feel like they’re going to fall off. I need to find some fingerless gloves for typing.

20 thoughts on “Heaven knows I’m miserable now

  1. I live in an RV that gets very cold in the winter. I use a clay flower pot turned upside down over a stove burner with the flame very low. The pot radiates the heat and is much more affective than the wall heater.

    1. we’ve tried that and the candle method but it doesnt do much. we also have infrared space heaters that are supposed to heat 500sq ft that don’t do much either. It’s just too drafty

  2. Can you call the board of health? Is heat supposed to be included with the rent? I’m sorry you are going thru this. It does sound like time to move,when you can… : (

    1. No utilities included and it wouldn’t matter anyway as far as the heat goes. The house needs a good gutting and restoration. There’s no insulation and the windows need replaced/installed correctly.

      I’m reluctant to call the health dept because there are so many issues here,including black mold. I know from someone else local who rented and complained about a water issue that the health dept looks over everything not just the issue called in. They found black mold and had her vacate immediately and no one could occupy the place until the work was done. It was a giant pain because she had to find housing immediately with no money for sec deposit,etc. That would be us right now :-/
      When we get our income tax refund, we’ll start looking for another place and bring the issues to the attention of agencies. It’s just not right for them to rent this place to anyone the way it is.

  3. I’ve been reading your posts for many years. I can’t remember why you can’t move down here to a warmer climate? All I can remember is your husband prefers to work with his hands and ththat you are are a bi-racial family. Houston after are begging for that. That describes our community and we need your help a lot. Please consider.

    1. We’d love to move but my mother is aging and not in great health. We moved 40 minutes away and just that has been hard on her :-/
      She would not ever consider moving out of the area. (We’ve tried. Ugh)

      1. I do “meals on wheels” and found myself informing my partner who has never had to ask for financial help… after she commented that it must be awful that one of our terminal clients was spending her last years in bitter thinking.
        I pointed out, that she might consider to think that these 5 minutes every Tuesday were the only time this woman got to ‘Vent’. I do that because I’ve chosen to be single and now that parents died. I feel the same need sometimes. I feel that you too sometimes are doing that. It’s strange that we can open up to strangers more than our loved ones.
        The privileged used to have more empathy for the under-privileged,,,but in the end we have chosen have to stay in our position mainly for loved ones.
        I don’t care if you delete this reply. Your sharing both reminds me that I could be in your circumstances in an instant except for your choice to sacrifice for your family. Not everyone including me has the strength to do that. Please see the benefits you provide all of us at your expense.

      2. Oh, all my loved ones read this blog and hear it right from my mouth LOL
        I know what you’re saying,though.
        And in all honesty it’s a bit more than my mom’s health and I’m also not convinced things would be better if we moved. My husband is 55 and it’ll be harder to find a new job (he’s an ex-cop and now janitor without a lot of skills or education). My college kids chose colleges with in a few hours drive from home so they can easily come home during breaks so I have that to consider right now,too. Plus one kid finished high school in a school suited for her needs and goals. Its just how it is right now :-/

  4. People just dont get that being cold most of the time is one of the worse aspects of being poor . We are in state housing in the UK , its cheap for a reason we are on oil heating , we have no income at all at the moment …dont ask.. the so called benefit system in this country is being ripped apart by the government . We gained a case worker due to rent arrears and health issues , bless her . She managed to get us a 100 litres of Kerosene from a charity donation , its wonderful we have to make this last so its an hour a day for heat but its better than no heat ..at least it means my disabled partner wont be taken into “care”

    1. That sounds AWFUL :-/
      Thank the powers that be for that hour but jeeeeezus…. that’s just terrible. It’s such a basic thing. I’m so sorry.

      And yes, being cold makes everything worse.

  5. I’m so sorry things are so rubbish at the moment. They cut Husband’s hours at work in the summer. Also DWP have now said he is not eligible for PIP, we are now having to take them to tribunal to challenge this. All of this means scrimping and saving for us as well, having the heating on as little as possible, and keeping the kitchen, front room and bathroom doors shut unless we go in there to ensure the heat stays in the house. I was doing my Living Below the Line challenge as well living on £1 a day from the 1st to the 14th of December and felt cold all the time – it’s amazing how much good just having a hot drink can do for you. I’m waffling now but just wanted to say I’m sorry and I can’t begin to imagine how draining and frustrating it must feel.

      1. Yes please do, as i don’t often have money in my paypal account, but I often have a good balance on my Amazon account from doing surveys etc. so if there was something the kids needed etc. I could buy it from your wishlist.

  6. Oh, I can feel how miserable you are just reading this! I hate being cold. How is the rest of the family handing it. The rent in your area must be sky high if they can get away with charging so much for the house you live in.

    1. Fortunately the kids’ bedrooms are upstairs and it’s much warmer up there.
      Yes, the rent is atrocious. Ithaca has the highest rent in NY state outside of NYC. And for no good reason. The entire county is nearly matching the city’s housing market rates. We’re on the very edge of the county, very rural and what we pay is considered cheap. When we moved here, we were choosing between this house, a 3 bedroom single wide trailer for $950/mo plus utilities , and a duplex where a registered sex offender also lives for $1200 w/ all utilities included O.o

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